7 Simple Steps to Becoming Well-Read

One of the most common personal development resolutions is to read more. Reading is a great way to fire up your brain, increase your vocabulary, gain a richer understanding of your own or other cultures, and enjoy some good stories to boot!

So what’s holding you back? Maybe diving into a “To Read” list as long as your arm feels daunting, or you’re embarrassed to go back to book club after skipping for three months in a row. Maybe you just haven’t found the time to read lately. Whatever’s keeping you from tackling that list of books, these tips may help you find your way back into the pages:

1. Start small.
   If you don’t have time to read, you’re probably not going to wake up tomorrow and knock out 150 pages (although if you do, more power to you!). Try reading for 15 minutes before you go to sleep, or reserve part of your lunch break for reading time. Whatever reading time you decide on, though, stick to it.
2. Make reading fit your schedule.
   On the road a lot? Listen to audio books instead of the radio. Computer junkies will love services like DailyLit, a site that emails books to you in 5-minute installments, according to a schedule you set. Constant traveler? Invest in an e-reader so you can take plenty of reading material with you, even when packing light.
3. Decide what you want to read.
   Do you want to read the classics? Are the new novels that are getting reviewed and talked about more your style? Or are you hoping to increase your knowledge about something, like Web programming, a foreign language, or modern art? Having a focus for your reading can help keep you from getting overwhelmed.
4. Don’t be a slave to The List.
   While having a focus is important, don’t shut yourself off to everything else, or reading may seem more like an assignment than a pleasure activity. If you’re brushing up on the classics and a newly published novel catches your eye, read it! You can make some great discoveries by trusting your own taste.
5. Minimize distraction.
   Find a quiet place. Disconnect from electronics, and avoid surrounding yourself with other people. They won’t mind. You can tell them all about the great novel you found later. For now, let yourself sink into the story.
6. Note your progress.
   Jot down the books you finish in a notebook. Writing something down about what you read, even if it’s only the title and author, will help you remember it longer and provide you with an accurate record of how close you are to reaching your goal.
7. Spread the word!
   One of the best things about being better read is that you’ve got more to share in conversation. Try writing a book review on your blog, or joining a book club. Who knows? You may inspire someone else to curl up with a good book, too.

7 Powerful Tips To Becoming a Better Listener

When people speak, do you listen? How much of what's communicated do you internalize?

Recently, I was talking to someone who was not very present in the conversation. Even though she would nod and say "Yeah" the whole time we communicated, her follow-up comments would reveal she wasn't listening 100%.

For example, there was a point when I talking about A, but she kept replying to me as if I was saying B. I thought it was really strange, so I repeated what I said in a slower, more precise manner. But the same thing happened - while she would nod and say "Yeah" while I was speaking, her reply suggested she did not get the gist of what I was trying to say.

At that point, I was entirely baffled. After engaging in a few more conversations with her, I realized it was a norm with her. She often nodded and looked like she was following the conversation, but her comments were often off tangent. It would seem that even though she exhibited "signs" that she was listening, she was never really listening.

Listening is an important skill - more so than one may realize. We use it all the time - at work with our managers and co-workers, in presentations, in relationships, in social settings, with our families. Believe it or not, we even use it when watching TV and films!

In my work, listening is especially important. When I'm coaching my clients, it's important I listen and understand their underlying problems (that may even elude them), so I could ask the appropriate coaching questions to forward them. When I'm communicating with the readers at my blog, it's important I read between the lines and "listen" to what they're trying to say, because words alone may not convey their intended messages.

I've learned that being a good listener takes more than just hearing what the person has to say - it requires conscious desire, conscientiousness, and practice. In this article, I share my 7 personal tips on how to be a better listener:

1. Remove All Distractions
   In this day and age, in our quest to get as much done as we can, we multi-task the whole time - from web browsing, checking emails, replying emails, working, talking on the phone, fiddling with our phones, writing in our notebooks, etc. So when people approach us to talk, it's natural we add that to the list of things we're doing at the moment, vs. giving them our full attention.
   
   To be honest, I do this myself, especially if it's just a short or casual conversation. I think it's fine if you're able to attend to the other party's request. However, if the person is trying to tell you something important, or share something personal, you should ideally stop what you are doing and give him/her your full attention. What I do is I close the lid of my laptop (hence eliminating all distractions), turn myself towards the person and give him/her my full focus. Doing so is a sign of respecting him/her.
2. Be Present
   Are you present when you're around other people? Or are you lost in your own thoughts?
   
   In the example I shared in the opening, it was apparent my friend was not present during the conversations. Even though she would nod as a sign of acknowledgement while others were speaking, her mind was lost in her thoughts. Hence, when it was her turn to speak, her comments would be off tangent to what was being communicated.
   
   To be a good listener, you have to be present. Being present means (a) not being preoccupied physically (b) not being preoccupied mentally. The former means to remove distractions, as I mentioned in Tip #1. The latter requires you to clear your mind of other thoughts and focus on the person speaking. This means to stop thinking about the argument you had at work with your co-worker in the morning, the report you've yet to finish, or where you're going to have your dinner, and to pay attention to what's being communicated now.
   
   How does one become more present? I see it as an ongoing path, rather than one end goal. One activity that never fails me is this 15 minute brain dumping exercise, whereby I clear out mental clutter instantly. Meditation is another useful habit that helps me to be more present - instead of thinking about the past or the future, I'll be in the current moment, which is the moment we are living in anyway.
3. Wait for the Person to Finish Speaking (in the start)
   It's good etiquette to let the other party finish what he/she wants to say, before you butt in with your comments. I know there are times you feel you get what the person is trying to say and you can't wait to share your comments, but hold it off in the beginning of the conversation. Because the person may have other things to share but can't because you are speaking.
   
   I find that often times when I just sit and wait, the person will often have something to add on - which I would never have known if I had interjected or stepped in to speak. Once I get a hang of what the person has to say and where the person is coming from, I'll be more open in interjecting, while being conscious of the person's needs and letting him/her go ahead if there's anything he/she wants to say.
4. Don't Assume Anything
   An important part of listening is not to assume. When you assume, you automatically layer over what the person says with your presumptions, which makes it near impossible to have any meaningful conversation. While the person may say A, ultimately you can only hear B, simply because your mind is not open to receiving new information in the first place.
   
   When it comes to communication, err on the side of safety and assume you know nothing. In this regard, questions are your best friends (see #7).
5. Look at the Sub-Text
   Powerful listening requires you to understand that the words articulated in a conversation do not always represent the person's intentions. Many times, we are not 100% clear about what we're trying to say, and talking is really our way of processing our thoughts.
   
   In this regard, don't rely too much on the words communicated, per se. Instead, look at the sub-text - such as the facial expressions of the person, the tone of the voice, the body language, the choice of words, and so on. What is the person trying to say? What do you think he/she is feeling? What is he/she thinking behind his/her words? Combine this with what he/she is saying to you and you'll get a lot more out of the conversation.
6. Clarify to ensure you got what the person is saying
   At every stage of the conversation, clarify to ensure you got the message right. This can be done by simply paraphrasing what he/she just said, in your own words. Sometimes we may take away one message when it's really something else, and it's not good to assume without clarifying first (see #4).
   
   What I do is I'd interject every now and then and make 1-2 clarifying statements, such as "Ok, so what you're saying is that ..........., right?", in which the person simply needs to say "Yes" or "No". This helps ensure everyone is on the same page before any more new information is shared.
7. Ask Questions
   Questions are highly important in any conversation. Firstly, there are things which the person does not share (either because he/she thinks you already know them or because he/she thinks they are irrelevant) that you can only uncover by asking questions. Secondly, questions lets you get more information about specific areas you are unclear about, such that you get a better picture of what the person is saying.
   
   My conversing style involves a lot of questions, especially at the beginning of the conversation. This is because because I see this as the "understanding" or "information gathering" phase. Rather than overshare at the start, I prefer to understand the person and get a good grasp of who he/she is, then share my point of view. This has worked very well in my communications with others, as others quickly ease into their natural persona and open up about what they want to talk about. Because of this, it has allowed me to easily connect with others and develop meaningful relationships - which is what we want to achieve at the end of the day.

Six Easy Networking Tips for Introverts

I’ll confess up-front; I’m an introvert. I spend a lot of time on my own – and I find it tiring to be around lots of other people.

Being an introvert actually works out pretty well for me. I’m a writer, so a big part of my day involves sitting at my computer, working alone. When I do work with other people as a writing coach, it’s usually one-on-one (I can cope with one other person!)

Of course, I can’t spend the whole of my life alone or with just close friends and family. In both my professional and personal life, I get out there and meet people from time to time. And I’ve learned a few tricks along the way. If you’re an introvert – if you feel shy and awkward in a room full of strangers – then here’s how to make it easier for yourself:

#1: Get to Know People Beforehand
One of the many things I love about the internet is that it makes it incredibly easy for me, an introvert, to strike up a connection with total strangers. When I’ve been to networking events, I’ve found it incredibly helpful to have some established friends there already.

How do you find people who’ll be at the event? Try:

• Forums or similar on the event’s website
  
• Twitter – search for the name of the event
  
• Blog posts – is anyone you know going?
  
• Facebook – the event itself may have a page
  
• LinkedIn – will any of your contacts (or their contacts) be attending?

Obviously, this one’s easier if you operate in a pretty geeky world (I hang out with a lot of bloggers and writers...) but more and more people are getting online, in all sorts of professions.

If you’re going to a very large event, like a multi-day conference, you may want to make specific plans to meet up. You could even arrive a bit early so you can get a meal with a friend or a small group of friends before the event itself starts.

#2: Go Prepared
If you’re attending a new event, you might have all sorts of worries about how to get there, what it will be like, who’ll be there, and so on.

I’m always less anxious when I feel well-prepared, and I expect the same will apply to you. That means:

• Find out the dress code in advance. There might not be one – ask friends/colleagues who’ve attended before. Err on the side of over-dressing ... though if you’re in a suit and everyone else is wearing jeans, you may feel a bit awkward.
• Take a pen and small notebook. As a writer, I carry these with me anyway – but they’re useful to have on hand in all sorts of situations.
• Take business cards. You might have stock ones from work, but if you create your own cards, try to make them interesting. I use Moo.com to create cards with several different designs – that way, my new contacts can pick whichever one they like best. It’s a great talking point and much more interesting than thrusting a boring black-and-white card at someone.
• Carry breath mints, a comb, makeup, deodorant etc. Be prepared to make last-minute touch-ups to your appearance before you go into the event. You’ll know better than me what you’re likely to need!
• Take a map (or know the exact address). Allow a bit of extra time to get there, too, if you’re going somewhere new for the first time.

#3: Start a Conversation Straight Away
Have you ever been standing around awkwardly, trying to get up the courage to go and speak to someone? The longer you wait, the harder it is! When I was a student, I made a point of speaking in the first ten minutes of any class – that way, I found I was much more confident about contributing as the class went on.

The same applies to networking. As soon as you arrive, find someone to chat to. It’s often easy to strike up a conversation in the registration queue, for instance. Questions like “Have you been to this before?” can be a great way to get someone else chatting.

#4: Look for Someone Else Who Seems Shy
It can be very hard to break into a big group of people – especially when they all seem confident. Look for anyone on their own – perhaps standing in a corner, or loitering uncomfortably on the outskirts of a group. They probably feel just as shy as you do, and they’ll almost certainly be grateful if you go and engage them in conversation.

You don’t need to say anything scintillating to start chatting: a comment about some aspect of the event (the food, drinks, weather, decor) can be an easy way in, or you could simply ask “What do you do?” or “What brings you here?”

#5: Don’t Talk Too Fast
Many of us talk fast when we’re nervous. You might have to make a conscious effort to slow down – especially if you have a strong accent. (You may not think your accent is strong, but consider the people you’re networking with: I’m from the UK, and I occasionally have to repeat myself when I’m at events in the US.)

If you find yourself talking too much:

• Ask open-ended questions – encourage the other person or people to talk too
  
• Avoid interrupting people or finishing their sentences for them
• Get a glass of water to sip while talking (go easy if you’ve got an alcoholic drink...)

#6: Don’t Over-Analyze Afterwards
Have you ever come back from an event and cringed, thinking “I should never have said that” or “He must have thought I’m an idiot”?

Lots of introverts do this. We have a tendency to over-think and over-analyze things. I’ve seen blog posts and tweets by other introverts who were fantastic to chat to ... but who’re worried that they somehow screwed things up.

Even if you say something a bit daft or make some mistake, chances are, no-one even noticed. Don’t beat yourself up about it. The important thing is that you went to the event, and you had a go at networking – next time, it’ll be easier.

Chitragupt Samaj - Dawat Puja

Chitragupt Samaj - Dawat Puja

According to Hinduism, Brahma is the creator of the universe.  He has created plants,animals, sea, mountains and the human being.  Mythology states that humans created from the 'mouth' portion of Brahma were Brahmins, those from arms were 'Kshatriyas', those from the thighs were 'Vaishyas' and those from the feet were 'Shudras'.  He asked 'Surya' to take care and protect the universe and himself went into deep meditation for ten thousand of years.

Thereafter when he opened his eyes he saw an illustrious man with broad shoulders, eyes like a lotus, long neck and carrying a pen and inkpot in the hands.  Brahma asked that man who he was. The man replied that he was born out of Brahma and asked to give him a name and allocate duties.  Brahma told him that as he was born out of his body (kaya) he would be classed as 'Kayastha' and he would be called by the name of 'Chitragupt' on the earth.  He was asked by Brahma to perform his duties of keeping an account of every person good and bad deeds in the offices of Dharma Raj, supposed to be situated in 'Yampuri'.

Chitragupta was also blessed to produce his progency.

He had twelve sons and named as follows:-

Srivastava, Surajdwaj, Nigam, Kulshreshth, Mathur, Karna, Saxena, Gaud, Asthana.  Ambasht, Bhatnagar and Bulmik.

Thus as the story goes 'Chitragupta' was the progenitor of us, the Kayasthas, and it is therefore our duty to worship him and offer our Prayers.


Puja Process
Place of worship is first cleaned. Seep chalk & Swastika is drawn on the ground or on some wooden board.   A satia is drawn and is decorate by drawing lines on all the four sides. On this the god or goddess to be worshipped is placed. Vermilion is applied on the foreheads of god or goddess idols or photograph.

Earthen lamp or any other type of lamp is lit. In the pooja Vermilion paste, rice, aepen & water in small vessel is kept. These preparation are done little ahead of conducting pooja.
For performing pooja the ring finger is used for dipping and sprinkling water, vermilion, aepen. First the pooja is performed with water then aepen and roli (vermilion) then little rice is touched to the eyes and offered to the god or goddess.
The pooja offerings are done three time each (Sprinkle water ,aepen, roli and chawal )three time each.

Use Your Whole Mind to Get to Greatness

Written on 7/1/2011 by Peter G. James Sinclair . Peter is ins in the ‘heart to heart’ resuscitation business and inspires, motivates and equips others to be all that they’ve been created to become. Receive your free copy of his latest eBook Personal Success Blueprint at – http://www.motivationalmemo.com and add him on Twitter @PeterGJSinclair – today!

‘Abraham Lincoln’s principle for greatness can be adopted by nearly all. This was his rule; whatsoever he had to do at all, he put his whole mind into it, and held it all there until that was all done. That makes man great almost anywhere.’ – Dr. Russell H. Conwell

I don’t know about you, but I wasn’t born to simply melt into the mass called humanity. You and I were born for something more than to mesh into the fabric of the family called mankind. We have been born for greatness. Not for the selfish satisfaction of fulfilled ambition, but rather for the addition of significance and contribution to the breathing multitude called homo sapiens.

And here are two powerful ways to ensure that greatness shall be our portion as we follow in the footsteps of the great man Abraham Lincoln.

Put Your Whole Mind Into It
Concentration. Focus. Application. Dedication. Commitment.

All of the above are key words to equip you in the process of putting your whole mind into it. When I sit in one of my favorite chairs, as I am now doing, writing this article, while listening to music being pumped out of my iPhone and into my ears via earphones, I am totally engrossed for an hour or two creating but one thing - ‘magnificence’.

That’s what it takes.

I lock myself away, in a sense, from all distraction and put my entire mind into the process of creating yet another piece of writing that will change a life – yes a life in Kenya, Paraguay or Spain. Maybe even change another life in London, New York or Beijing.

Why do I do this?

Because my life was changed dramatically as I sat and read the words of Peter Daniels while I locked myself away for 3 days in a motel room in search of my destiny at the age of 28. And then in my thirties I was introduced to the great Ralph Waldo Emerson as I discovered his original volumes in the basement of a local university’s library.

I remember crying as I read and devoured each page – for I was a man desperate to live above the ordinary. I was determined to discover my destiny. I was drowning in the company of the status quo and knew that deep within me was something more.

The words written by these men saved my life, saved my marriage, and saved my sanity.

And then through the ups and downs of the years – through failure and success – they have sustained me. Why? Because these men chose to, at one point in their life, ‘put their whole mind to it.’

Hold It All Until It Is All Done
This is why I have, waiting for me on my office desk, a blank sheet of paper filled with a list of just 6 things that I need to do each day, that will move my life and my business forward.

It is a prioritized list.

I start with the most important thing on that list and do not move on to number 2 until I have completed number 1. Once number 1 is done I strike it off. I then commence with number 2 until completion and then strike it off. To strike off is to establish progress and provide a sense of fulfilled satisfaction. And so on until number 6 is in my sights and also struck off completed.

Before I turn off my computer though, I take out a fresh sheet of paper and write my list ready for tomorrow. If for some reason I didn’t complete any tasks written on my list I simply transfer it to tomorrow’s list, and once again prioritize.

But the power is in the completion – holding it all until it is all done.

I teach this principle to everyone who works with and for me, and thus production is multiplied exponentially as a direct result of that established discipline.

Can you think of anything else that makes men and women great?

Motivational Memo: To be great is to cause others to be grateful.

How To Maintain Healthy Habits When Traveling

[Clint Cora] Written on 7/31/2011 by Clint Cora. Clint is a motivational speaker, author and Karate World Champion. See his free 3-part Personal Development Video Series on how to expand your comfort zone to conquer even your most daunting goals in life.

When I learned that Jay White, the founder of Dumb Little Man, frequently travels in his sales career, this immediately brought back memories of my own business travels during my years in pharmaceutical sales. I was traveling 25% to 50% of my time on overnight trips, sometimes for an entire work week.

Although there are great health tips on this awesome blog, I’m sure that for those of you who travel on business and even for everyone else who has gone somewhere on vacations, you will agree that it’s often quite a challenge to maintain healthy habits while away from home. Many people end up either gaining weight or losing weight after their trips and I’m not talking about desired weight changes either.

So here are some tips that I’ve learned to adopt during my travels to help you stay healthy while away from home.

Get Proper Nutrition

While it’s much easier to follow a healthy balanced diet with home cooking, it’s often very challenging if you have to eat out for all of you daily meals during travel. Here are some ideas that may seem obvious, but I'd challenge you to think back to your last business trip. How many of these did you really follow?

* Avoid hotel breakfasts loaded with fat and salt (sausages, bacon, pastries, fried potatoes)

* Start your day with fresh fruit, yogurt and cereals

* Definitely pass on fast food breakfasts but don’t skip a healthy one

* Stay with lighter fare lunches especially if attending conferences all day

* Find good salads and lower fat, whole-wheat sandwiches for lunch

* Don’t overeat at dinner, especially at buffets (or you’ll feel it back in your hotel room)

* Minimize the amount of fried, fatty foods at restaurants

* Drink lots of water with your meals and limit alcohol (hangovers during travel are no fun)

* Don’t overdo the trips to the coffee shops during the day

* Avoid junk snacks - pick up some fresh fruit at local grocers instead

* Pack enough multivitamins to last your entire trip as inexpensive diet insurance

Exercise On The Road

As I remember all the big meetings and conferences I’ve attended, it’s incredible just how few travelers stay active on the road. With overeating and inactivity, it’s no wonder why many travelers end up gaining weight. So here are some tips to stay active on the road.

* Use the hotel/cruise ship gym as even 20 minutes on a cardio machine will help prevent travel weight gain

* Do laps in the hotel pool if there is one (always pack your swimwear)

* Use the hotel gym weights even if you have to modify some usual exercises

* If the neighborhood around the hotel is nice and safe (ask the concierge), take a brisk walk outside

* If no gym, do basic calisthenics plus low impact cardio inside your hotel room

* Although tempting to socialize into the wee hours, get adequate sleep

It’s Possible To Keep Healthy During Travel

So it is indeed possible to keep healthy during your travels. Although you may have to take some extra efforts to get the proper nutrition and enough exercise in during your time away from home, much of the challenge comes from the fact that you have to do what most other travelers will not be doing. You will be among a minority who do eat healthy and take time in the gym. But don’t worry about what others are doing as it is your own health that matters.

Happy travels and if you have additional tips on how to stay healthy or are willing to share some of your challenges while away from home, please leave your comments below.

Was Mom Wrong? Maybe You Should Play with your Food

If your mom was anything like mine, there were always lots of rules when it came to meal times. One of the biggest no-nos in our house was ‘playing with your food’.

While I get where my mom was coming from in terms of waste, mess and that we should be respecting our food, now that I’m all grown up, I’ve realized there are times when playing with your food may actually be beneficial.

Food can be one of life’s great pleasure. But there can also be a lot of anxiety around healthy eating, not to mention the guilt that comes from over-indulging in crap. And given that we must eat every day, if we aren’t careful, it can become a chore. Another task that must be checked off.

But it doesn’t have to be like that. Maybe your mom was wrong? Here are 7 good reasons you should play with your food.

1. Play encourages mindful eating.
If we play with our food, our attention will be in the moment giving us a chance to appreciate what we’re eating rather than mindlessly munching away. This mean we will be more likely to really enjoy and find pleasure in our food. How many times are do you find yourself with a bag of chips and in front of the TV? Handful after handful you devour these things simply because your attention is elsewhere.

2. Play makes mealtime fun.
Taking a more light-hearted approach to food can make a real difference to how much fun you have at dinner. And it doesn’t mean you need to toy with your food on the plate.

For example, try coming up with more creative names for dishes to bring a little sunshine and fun into meal times. In our house we have ‘mermaid pie’, rather than boring old fish pie. And this brings out the story of my friend’s grandma.

When she was a child, she told her dad that the fishermen in her village had been filling her head with tales of mermaids. Her dad’s response was ‘Yes, they would see plenty of mermaids through the bottom of a whiskey glass’. This prompted her to head down to the sea shore with a glass in hand in search of illusive creatures. Too cute.

3. Play helps us connect with our loved ones.
It can be difficult to reach out and nurture our closest relationships if we are stressed and uptight around the dinner table. Some shared laughter and a bit of silliness with broccoli or broad beans can really bring the family together.

4. Play encourages creativity and exploration.
By making the decision to introduce some fun into meal times, we are opening ourselves up to more creativity and an exploration of the wonderful world of food.

It can be easy to fall into a rut with our food. There’s nothing like eating the same old thing every week to give us food boredom. A little playfulness will encourage us to eat a wider variety of foods, which can only be a good thing both nutritionally and psychologically.

5. Play helps us relax.
After a long day at the office, we can all benefit from a bit of play both preparing and enjoying our evening meal. No only does it give us a chance to unwind from the day, it prepares us for a well earned, rejuvenating sleep.

6. Play reduces over-eating.
By playing with our food we become completely engaged with what we’re eating. This makes it much easier to recognize when we are full and stop eating when we should, rather than mindlessly gorging and ending up overstuffed again.

7. Playing with your food gives you an excuse to bake!
Slurping on noodles can bring hours, OK minutes of joy. Letting the juice from a perfectly ripe watermelon run down your arms is fun even without the wonderful sweet taste. But baking in general, and making cookies in particular, is where playing with your food really comes into its own.

Creaming butter and sugar, folding in flour, bashing chocolate into submission so you have the perfect chunks, forming your dough into cute cookie shapes. And all that before we even think of getting to the eating part.

So when I’m finding myself in need of a little more play, I know its time to bake. These salted chocolate chip cookies are my current go-to treat. I'm off now..! :)